Do blogs need introductory posts or do you just wade straight in and start floundering around, not like a flounder (possibly the stillest creature in the marine kingdom) at all, but like a juvenile okapi, thrashing helplessly in a particularly deep section of the Congo with your preposterously inadequate Bambi legs and a look of desperation on your face that quickly turns to a look of resignation before sinking, with the rest of your head, below the cool sheet of water which only moments ago you were lapping at contentedly?
That’s not a rhetorical question; I really really want an answer.
Speaking of a sheet of water – narcissism: that’s the only reason you’d start a blog, surely. Last week I said this to a friend who had suggested I begin putting my thoughts down for public (digital) consumption.
He said, “So – why not?”
I said: “Because it’s for narcissistic clowns.”
He said, “Then what’s stopping you?”
And he had made a good point. Nobody likes the sound of their own keystrokes more than me. Narcissus, of course, was around in a time long before it became possible for people to self- publish earnest, illiterate and vomit-inducing poetry and make it available to every single person in the world who owns a computer and access to the internet. So instead of starting a blog, like I’m doing right this instant, he looked at his own reflection in a lake.
Personally, if I had a womanly physique, permed hair and a nose fourteen times the size of my mouth, I reckon I could find better ways of starving to death. But good on him – he found an interest and he pursued it.
Haught fact of the day:
An okapi is one of the few animals in the world to have an onomatopoeic name – the word “okapi” is a representation of the noise mature males make while eating: